Elusive Dream

(A Journey Right into the Heart of Imagination)

mdfImage credits: Edel Rodriguez

Today I took a journey, a journey into the silence of my mind. At first it seemed unreal but then again I couldn’t trust my mind for it’s quite deceiving especially to matters relating to what is real and unreal so I let down my guard and trailed the thought train back to its origin, quite an uncomfortable journey…….. Today I saw myself on my death bed….!!.

Harrowing as it may sound, deep inside I know am not the only one who has ever experienced this and I shall not be the last. “It’s called being human as we always find comfort in numbers…,” as I wondered through the citadel of conscious thoughts the more unbearable it became as lost opportunities, foregone friendships,  unfulfilled ambitions and relationships I was too scared to have bombarded me. It seemed quite clear that decisions I waited so long to make shaped my entire future, for each decision I kept pending the more my life diverted from its original path. This left me with more questions than answers, “was all my life a lie because of the-what if’s I had created in my life…” No…, that couldn’t be true I wouldn’t accept it but my mind showed me the contrary but then again I couldn’t trust my mind I was in too deep.

With each deep breath I took vague images brought forth emerged clearer. Frankly speaking I was quite disappointed; I always envisioned my death as a quick one never in my imagination was there a moment I would suffer I called it an “Awesome death” quick and straight to the point but from the look of things it seemed I had put on quite a good fight. I appeared frail, but weirdly I was quite happy….; Very unlike me when am down and sickly. My frail self was looking at something at the far end of the room, a portrait to be exact. anxiety overcome my subconscious being as I saw myself holding onto a woman happier than ever and interesting enough there were four other people with us who resembled me in some respects and their and then I knew that that was my family, every man’s dream a legacy that will carry on his name that’s why my frail self was happy. In my present situation I never saw this day coming as my current relations were nothing to be admired. I tried to have a good look at the woman in the portrait but her face was all blurred and I couldn’t make out who she was as fate can’t give you everything something’s have to be earned.

My destination still unknown I still endeavored as my mind began again to drift deeper into its subconscious pushing my way through until there was no more thoughts…..  Only silence … my inner being felt peace for the first time there was no worry and no fear at all as everything had come to pass. This was it my final journey, but being the skeptic I am I questioned as to where my white blinding light was as everyone ever documented on this issue talked of a magnificent white light but then again I thought to myself “maybe it’s because am not dead, at least not yet” but that seemed so insignificant as I saw myself happier than life itself gazing into my utopia. As I moved closely towards my final destination my unconscious being began to twist and turn causing ripples into my subconscious being  awakening to my present tribulations disappointed but yet excited for I know what I have to do.

Mindful Edward™

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